Parking for Dummies

So here’s a perfect example of a REAL inconvenience for you…

I met my wife last night for dinner and, as I was leaving, discovered that some jackass parked way too close to the driver’s side of my car. There was only about a foot of clearance and there was no way I would be able to open the door and squeeze my ass into my car. I was forced to have to enter in the passenger’s side and crawl into the driver’s seat. Very inconvenient, wouldn’t you say?

Some years ago, I made the mistake of parking too close to someone else’s car. How do I know this? Because on my way out I found a nice little piece of paper stuck under my windshield wiper. It was a picture of Mickey Mouse giving the finger and a message that read “Next time why don’t you leave a can opener, you selfish prick!”. I have to admit I laughed my ass off! It was absolutely brilliant! And you know what? I never did it again. From that moment on I payed attention to how I park my car in a parking spot.

We all get in a hurry and always feel inconvenienced when we can’t find that primo parking spot…but that doesn’t give anyone an excuse to be an asshole. I hate it when some asshole in a Hummer or Dodge duely parks in a spot labeled for compact cars. I hate it even more when someone in a Beamer or the like parks at an angle taking up two spots. But what really gets my goat is people who don’t park straight in a parking spot. Not doing so is discourteous and downright shitty.

So I think I’m going to make up some business cards similar to the little piece of paper I got some years ago. Might even make up some more for the other stupid shit people do. Of course, if I keep that up I’ll end up with about a thousand different cards. Hmm…wonder if there’s any money in that?

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One Response to “Parking for Dummies”

  1. *flips off mother nature* | Our life

    [...] Mouse did in those old business cards you could leave on people’s windshields when they parked too close. Why, you ask? I’ll tell you! Cause you decided to tease me this [...]

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